natalie

I always admired natalie portman, but this is pure inspiration

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Natalie Portman


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Anne Hathaway

first job interview

I had my first job interview ever today, it was quite ok. well, to be honest, I don't want the job anyways. the conditions are horrible and the workingplace was frightening. about 10 lawyers who looked like they sold their souls. the place hat literally no soul, everything was neat and clean and white and uncomfortable. well it was practice though and I have another one tomorrow, which I am actually looking forward to.

well afterwards I grabbed this cute organic cotton t-shirt from h&m and a light brown handbag, such as a light yellow blouse for the interview tomorrow.

after the interview I went to visit my dad in hospital (I hate them so much), he is doing quite ok, I think. still in pain and annoyed because he isn't allowed to move much but there is a small chance that he's allowed to go home tomorrow. well, his heart activity won't increase more than 0,5% but at least the constant pain will probably go down a bit, or at least I hope so!

not that exciting

ah well, actually there is not much to blog about. the days come and go and nothing really changes. or at least, there are only bad changes at the moment, it seems that there must be a never ending source of bad news somewhere. my dad is not able to have the bypasses, because it is too risky, but he has a surgery appointment on monday. I don't know much about it, to be honest. I don't know what the whole thing means and what they will do next with him, but I'll drive over for a quick coffee, later that night. (before or after a annoying talk to my sister)

I wrote about 10 job application this week but nothing seems to work out. would have been too easy anyways.

next to that, I have distracted myself with a lot of shopping. now I can add a new dress, a new dandy hat, new underwear, a black pencilskirt, light blue blouse and black bag to my closet. and I'm craving these balett flats



there are also golden aviator sunglasses and a small leopard scarf on my list.

besides that, life is bleh these days

that's it

it's done. moving is done. all my stuff is here now and I'm on my job hunting mission right now. it's been a bad day today, I don't regret my decision to leave everything behind, but I am 100% positive that I will miss my friends a lot. I miss them already. I will miss quite a few things. having coffee with the girls anytime possible, riding our bikes to the lake on sunny days, playing beach volleyball or just the everyday uni life. I feel like I have to grow up right now, but I don't want to.
I'm not ready to grow up yet.

I tell myself, if I can't bare life like it will be, I still can go back an finish uni, it's like a thought I cling to, in order to calm myself down. maybe it's just the stress and the worries about my dad, but right now I would prefer to still live there in that small town, I don't even like that much and study some stupid notes. but it's ok, I can do this.

rough times

Haven’t blogged in ages. I planned to blog quite regularly but there happened so many things, more bad than good ones, lately.

Well first of all we’re moving. Actually I am moving, my boyfriend moved half a year ago but most of his stuff is still in our flat and so we still have a lot to do. I decided a few months ago to go back to my hometown and quit studying. I will get a job, soon hopefully and start all over again. A lot of people, actually just my family are not quite pleased with this decision but it is still my life. In fact just my mom is not pleased, she worries about money too much, but she will get used to it. It was quite hard to tell my friends, some don’t understand why I am leaving, which I can understand and I will miss them too, a lot. But I based my decision on quite a few facts. First of all I am not happy. I lost my heart somewhere on the way, and it seems that the way was just all wrong. I tried to live a happy student life but it didn’t please me so much and I miss my family. Most of all I miss my dad. And there is big reason number too.

My dad is very sick. Very very sick. He had quite a bad heart attack 4 years ago and still suffers a lot because of it. His doctors decided that he will need 7-8 bypasses the very next few weeks. This causes me a lot of worries, the worst I could ever imagine is, if I would lose him. He means the world to me. He is everything. My dad is my world. My dad is the one who always, not matter what I did or wanted, supported me. He always said, I should do whatever makes me happy. And I crave his presence like nothing else. And sometimes I think he needs me as much as I need him and I want to be there for him whenever he needs me. So this is another big part of my decision. Well yeah, so the next week will be hell but I know I will be happy when it’s over and when I can finally start to search for a job and get all things in order.

I wonder why there are so many bad things happening lately, it’s not just me. It’s also the people I know and spend my time with, nobody seems to be really happy. It’s like there is some bad vibe in the air, which is getting on everybody’s nerves. Maybe it’s the weather or the stars, I wonder if everyone is waiting for the sun like me. I can’t wait for warmer weather, the cold and the rain and the fog are quite depressing. I actually like the winter and I love the sound of rain on my windows, especially when I sleep, but this kind of weather taking place now is nothing but uncomfortable and annoying. It’s always cold and wet, the wind takes the little warmth of the sun away and the snow is nothing but brown, disgusting mud on the sidewalk. I shouldn’t complain about the weather, but somehow I’m in such a complain mood today.

Some notes in style to finish with. My plans for this spring/summer are quite simple: floral prints, mille fleur, feminine dresses and skirts, elegant shoes mixed with cool accents like aviator glasses, wooden necklaces, high heels or maybe a leopard print scarf.

That’s it for now, I’m sending good vibes and thoughts to everyone who needs them.

cookie test run

I did a cookie test run today and made these coco kisses

the sound of music

as long as I can think, music was and always will be my first love! I would probably rather give up my wardrobe instead of my cd and music collection.
when I look back now on the harsh times in my life, there are no pictures or smells which come to my mind first when I remember, it's songs. it's also a song when I think of my fav vacation so far or and even everybody in my family has an own song.
I'm quite complicated person when it comes to talk about music tho, I always have the feeling that the other part doesn't love the band or the song as much as I do and try to convince him or her that he or she is not paying enough attention. I also don't like it when a good band becomes all popular and everybody is talking about it like he knew it for ages. don't get me wrong, a good band deserves the attention and the money and everything it's just getting on my nerves when people who are actually not interested in music in general are talking like they know everything.
but I guess that's ok, it's just me who is over sensitive and in the end it's a good thing to happen for musicians.

right know I'm addicted to the Kings of Leonand The Killers.
Two of my all time favourite band I love to bits. but there is so much good music and thank god there always will be so I probably won't ever run out of music. happy happy

no alcohol for me

my plan to spend a lazy saturday evening failed big time!
friends called and we went out till dawn. I discovered again that alcohol is not my friend. I get drunk so easily and have the most horrible nights. I envy everybody who's able to lay down and sleep when he's drunk, I have the most horrible and vivid dreams. I guess I should stick to the no-alcohol plan again. I didn't feel very bad the next thay tho, just tired but no headache or whatsoever. just caught a nasty cold which bothers me a lot, I have an essay to write and a paper 2 days ahead.
but all in all it was a good night, a friend of ours has finally a new girlfriend (or at least I hope so). he's quite a complicated character, not easy to handle for a girl but I hope she will do fine, it's really about time to settle down a little bit.

nice saturday

I spent a nice saturday today. first I had lunch with the bf and his family, afterwards we went shoe shopping. I'm saving money these days because of christmas and moving in january, so I wasn't actually planning to buy anything. so we headed to the shops to buy lovely leather shoes for the bf and new boots for the stepmom. I guess she was in a good mood and decided to spoil me. I got this lovely black leather ankle boots, a black clutch and black leather gloves. I'm planning to wear the boots and clutch with a short black satin dress and gray tights on our anniversary in two weeks. man, it's been 3 years by then.


I'm up for a lazy saturday night today, watching tv and reading my magazines :) I hope you have a wonderful weekend